by Pauletta Feldman
Editor's note: The following article is reprinted from the June I July, 1988, Visually Impaired Preschool Services Parents Newsletter, Louisville, Kentucky.
My blind son, Jamie, just turned four in March and is completing his first full year of preschool. This past year has been one of great strides in skill development for Jamie and has laid to rest many of my worries and frustrations. There have been so many times that I've anguished about his seeming delays, what I've done wrong if they still exist, what I should do right to get him moving along. But it's always turned out that Jamie, in his own time, has solved my. problems. When he was ready for a skill, he developed it. I'm certainly not trying to minimize the impact of early intervention and providing opportunities for stimulation and learning; it's just that I'm beginning to realize that sometimes I have to wait for Jamie to respond to them and have faith that he will.
As with most of you and your children, Jamie is our miracle baby. In fact, he's our double miracle baby. He was born three months premature, weighing in at one pound, 14 ounces. He was on 100 percent oxygen for 11 days and suffered severe retinal detachment and scarring. After surgery on both eyes, he has some light perception. I say Jamie is our double-miracle baby because not only is he alive, he is the baby we thought we could never have. He's adopted, and adopting a baby isn't easy these days.
Jamie came to us at 13 months of age. He had one tooth and was still on baby food. He could sit with a pillow propped behind him and scooted on his back to get around. My little niece, who is two weeks older than Jamie, was walking, eating
...
you?" or "What's your name?" and what a thrill I felt when just a few days ago I noticed him for the first time consciously turn to face someone who had spoken to him.
Self-help skills have seemed especially slow in coming for Jamie (or maybe I should say for me). Not having those skills has seemed to prolong his babyhood and to impact the way other adults and children have related to him. That has bothered me--having others treat my toddler like a baby. But Jamie just needed a little extra time.
Jamie didn't totally feed himself independently until about 3- 1/2. It wasn't until three weeks before his fourth birthday that he started dressing independently, while I gave assistance in handing his clothes to him. Now, I'm just laying his things out, and he puts them on and surprises me.
Something happened recently that truly made me realize that I have been the source of a lot of my worry and frustration over Jamie. I had come to the decision that I would leave potty- training to Jamie's future wife. Five days after his fourth birthday, Jamie decided to be potty-trained--and he was in less than a week, and night trained in two weeks. Yesterday I found him in the bathroom twice getting on the toilet himself without telling me he had to go and having me run into the bathroom with him. My baby has become a real big boy. I have a potty chair, no longer needed, that plays "how dry I am" if anyone's interested.
Lately I'm feeling like the sky's the limit. Oh, I know we'll hit those plateaus again when it doesn't seem that we're getting anywhere or getting there too slowly. But the point is, that although it may have taken a while for Jamie to acquire his skills, he has mastered them quickly. Every day, he's seeming more like the average kid. I think we're beginning to catch up.
POSTSCRIPT: Pauletta informs me that Jamie, now five years old, has just started cane travel lessons. Needless to say, Jamie, his parents, and his cane travel teacher are delighted that Jamie is taking this next big step toward independence and maturity.